The Jib-Jabbers and the Pentaportal Incongruity

We don't need no water...

Let that moldy mansion burn!

Ipslore here:
So things started, like most things, right in the middle.
After the finest meal I have ever been denied was destroyed by this really obnoxious Fleshy thing (no, not The Dude), the team decides to call upon their most handsome party member to do the hard work. Naturally, being vain, I agree to set this mother ablaze.
At this point I should point out that Lowkaar insists that it was his mouth farts that started the fire, and he’s not wrong, but if it were not for my ingenious dispersion of flammable liquids, it wouldn’t have helped. Also they are very stinky, those mouth farts.
Then we got attacked by these boner bozos. They shot Bean in the leg. I laughed on the inside. Or was it the outside? I can never really tell anymore.
Shhh, I’m telling a story here.
Right, where was I? Oh yeah, bony guys. Lowkaar tried to tackle a building. How he can know spells escapes me. I don’t think HWWB even likes him enough to help…
They die.
Then the Dude decides to put a flaming trailer on him as cover. I dunno, I’ll never understand humans and their quirks.
Then this frickin’ skull on fire appears and turns me and the Dude into stone. I mean, he is the dude and we do get stoned, but not like this. I mean, it’s the principle of the whole thing…
Next thing I know, my arms are free in time to see this anorexic chick trying to play pattycake with me. Who am I to say no to a game of pattycake?
Soon after that Lowkaar finds a reason to cut off 4 of my fingers.
He said something like “plague rot bunnies” or something and then chop.
Yeah, it takes a long time to type this with thumbs.
But now we have two bimbos in nets under the ground. That’s money in the bank or something like that. Which is good, because new fingers are gonna be pricey.
Oh, and now HWWB is telling me i’m “level 7” or something. Dude (HWWB, not the other The Dude)speaks gibberish a lot of the time, but he said I get new tentacles.
New tentacles almost make me feel better about my fingers.

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DM_Zack Das_Hortenator

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